• Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)
• I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner)
• I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburettor’. I said, ‘Where’s the car?’ She said, ‘In the lake’. (Henny Youngman)
• By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.  (Socrates)
• The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
• A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)
• My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)
• A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)
• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)
• I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)
• All marriages are mixed marriages. (Chantal Saperstein)
• There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again. (Clint Eastwood)
• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (Henny Youngman)
• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)
• The Om Shaadi Om Blog should not be called Om Shaadi Om Weblog. It should be called Om Shaadi Om Wedlock instead. (Om Shaadi Om) (That was a PJ).

Source: http://www.guy-sports.com/jokes/wedding_jokes.htm